Here’s our take.

V1
Day off, Droppin in my room
Go a head and drop you got nothing to do

Day Lost, Sucka you pitch at noon
Lost another day in my special room

Bitch what? I’m as high as the moon
You’re not that high more like a balloon

Hot Pot, My destiny looms
Is this real life or just a cartoon?

V2
Gold Pouch, Got my bitch in the stands
Always front row she’s the man with the plan

She got the greenies, and I’m afraid of the fans
Fear something different its the chicken man

Big Balls, or just my smallish hands
We’ve confirmed its your smallish hands

Got a NoNo? Don’t jinx it my man
God damn rookie got his head in the sand

V3
Close it out, Made the play of the day
except for the one you dove out of the way

Throw a NoNo, no hits just Ks
Doc Ellis D only hit of the day

Doc Ellis D only hit of the day
Doc Ellis D only hit of the day

We brought Wild Willie out for some vocals on this gem. When the going gets tough, the tough go fishing…at least after they escape some gambling debts, impounded vehicles, mobsters from Krakow, naked olympians, wannabe chinese takeout samaurais, our favorite “two girls”, a famous cup, and bi-curious McDonalds employees. You know…your run-of-the-mill fishing day…but with expensive lures. OH NO…..OH YEAH!!

Lyrics:

Pistil Whipped
Got a double-barrel grip
Gotta hit a triple twenty
‘Cause I owe the barman money
Oh Yeah… Oh Yeah…

City Pound
They got my baby locked down
Gotta float some dough
So I can make it to the show
Oh Yeah… Oh Yeah…

Expensive lures
And cheap-ass whores
Got my waders in the water
Can my waiter bring me water?
Oh Yeah… Oh Yeah…

Chorus:

Ty Cobb
Polish Mob
Hair pipe
“I’m on Skype!”
Golf Cart
Black arts
Half-nude
Luge dude
PISTIL WHIPPED!

Cleft lip
Tap tap with my tip
Salisbury steak
Goin’ fishing at the lake
Oh Yeah… Oh Yeah…

Like Chet Li
Without the black belt degree
Has a brother named Wong
With the menu spelled wrong
Oh Yeah… Oh Yeah…

Two girls
One cup
Got my Jimmies in McFlurry
And I’m all fucked up
Oh Yeah… Oh Yeah…

[Chorus]

OH NO!

OH YEAH!

Well…it took a while, but the Foglizard opus is finally posted. We wrote and recorded it in late 2005 and finished it up in 2006 at the downtown joint. Beast worked out the orchestral arrangement for the top. D Lux was then employed to record the vocals at his lair in Mass and our friend Greg D provided the vincent-price-on-ludes vocal tag to bridge the two. The usual crew is on backgrounds. The lizard has arrived….and he’s got a sawed-off fu manchu. Lock up your wives and sisters.

Sometimes you just need a little reassurance. We banged this one out in about 3 hours flat…all you need is an open mind, willpower, and a high quality lube. And of course a little help from Dalton.

Hey! Don’t worry about it….

Intro:
Swaaayyzeeee…

Verse 1:
Hey,
revin up the astroglide
Hey,
meet u on the south side
Hey,
I’m a lonely deadbolt
Hey,
lookin 4 a lug nut

Choro:
Don’t Worry It’ll fit
It might hurt a little bit

Verse 2:
Hey,
suction cup reflex
Hey,
servin up some texmex
Hey,
broken down roadhouse
Hey,
did the hustle did the mouse

Choro:
Don’t Worry It’ll fit
It might hurt a little bit
–do the mouse

Gtr solo:

Choro:
Don’t Worry It’ll fit
It might hurt a little bit
–do the mouse

Bridge:

Hey,
don’t worry

Wow, the recording of this track goes back to the early days of Foglizard when we cranked it up in the small room, went straight to CD-R, and peed out the back door in our own wing of the Pearl Studios complex. We finally got around to throwing some vocals on it 4 years later.

Kevin brought this one home with some killer fuzzed-out vocals and even managed to get the Dragon Lady and John’s Mom into the mix…

C’mon Suzy…gimme some release…

This one started as a reminiscent 80’s metal idea that obviously went way the other direction. (or did it?)

At first we were talkin Jaguars and splits on the hood, but of coarse we quickly centered ourselves back in to our usual rant. This one’s all about the 80’s rock with out the colon clench.

Dig. right to the top!

————

Where there’s smoke there’s fire
Drum tech for hire
Dave says I’m a crier
Can you make my seat higher

On the Ass Dragon Tour
behind the green door
passed out on the floor
gonna grease the back door

Great White is burnin’ down in rural PA
Gay ass Groupie with a cheap ass toupee
got a fever in my pocket
I’m meetin Tubbs and Crockett today

Cold cock
Block rock
Ice skate
Date rape
Jag Waur
I’m sore
Dollar store Darryl’s bangin Photomat Carol

ooh, ooh, aah
ooh, ooh, aah
ooh, ooh, aah
ooh, ooh, aah

sashay, sashay
sashay, sashay
sashay, sashay
sashay, sashay

Ben Jones’ Blog (Virgin Radio)

Write and record your own Bond theme!!!

So after everyone from Duffy, to Amy Winehouse, to Muse, and Grace Jones was ‘rumoured’ to be doing the Bond theme for Quantum of Solace, it has now been confirmed as a 007 first, a duet! Jack White and Alicia Keyes! I’m rather disapppointed. Don’t get me wrong, the film looks amazing, I’ve attached the trailer to this blog. But the song……hmmmm, it’s just not exciting me like it should!

So if you are in a band, or a solo artist, how about you write, record, and send me ASAP your alternate Quantum of Solace theme song. I very much doubt that Jack and Alicia will be able to get QOS into the song, what the hell rhymes with that! So bonus points if you do.

Let me have your best work and I could be playing them on air on the show, and if yours is better than the actual Bond theme we’ll play yours come the October 31st release!!

Check back soon for the video and a rework of the Quantum of Solace trailer.

This one is all about the HCWDB dudes. (without the HC)

——————————————-

I am a TV
Are you watching Me?
I am a disease
Catch me if you please

I’m in the Booth
Dry sack vermouth
~Douchebag~

Sportin’ Gold Chains
Eyebrows-a-flame
~Douchebag~

Drive an IROC
Stuffin’ the sock
~Douchebag~

Splashin’ cologne
Like Moses Malone
~Douchebag~

I am a machine
Can you keep me clean?
I make the Murmur scene
Where I drop lots of green

Gellin’ it high
Soy milk and chai
~Douchebag~

Tribal tattoo
Hot Shots: Part Deux
~Douchebag~

Tan-in-a-can
Greico’s our man!
~Douchebag~

Pucker my lips
Ponch was on CHiPs
~Douchebag~

Yes he was!
Are you gellin’?…I’m gellin’.

Chaos out…..~Douchebag~

———————————————–

david, don’t listen to all these ignorant people. they are mostly fools and homosexuals anyway. god knows you are right and so does jesus and the holy ghost too. jesus died on the cross so that we could have the right to bare arms.

Dbl parked, In My Way
Go Ahead, Make My Day

Not Too Shy To Talk
Not Too Shy To Talk

One Badd Apple
IQ of a Hydrant
John’s mom @Jordans
Sleeve Job Defendant

 i have a gun and so does my wife. if those black comedians called you a white boy then they are racists and it is your god given right to shoot at them until they move their car.

Sellin BBs and CO2
Gotta Post from Cat Man Dude

Not Too Shy To Talk
Not Too Shy To Talk

Gunboy Generation
Partial Penatration
You’re Parking in My Spot Son
I’ll drown you in the Hudson

jesus said to bad samaritan who was blocking the road with his donkey and cart “moveth thine ass for i must get to work, i have preaching to do down by the river and i’m running late. and don’t calleth me white boy or i’ll smite your ass with a bolt of lightning, you don’t know who you’re effin with”. Gun boy.

Shut yer mouth Little Fella
You Mosquito, Me Citrinella

Not Too Shy To Talk
Not Too Shy To Talk

Gun shop Allegations
Jury Delegations
Gun shop Allegations
Jury Delegations

——————–

V1:

High School
Its Blue
High 5
Seattle Slew

Cheap Trick
Name it Rick
Top Deck
Ben Affleck

V2:

Glouchester
Bum Molester
Peer Pressure
Minor Nester

Day Care
People Stare
High Chair
I Don’t Care

Verse out:

Beanie
–>Yes No Maybe
Babies
–>Kids got Scavies

repeat and rinse

Rock and Roll!

This one’s about a crack head that’s gonna steal all your stuff. You better change the locks or you may have to kill him.

Verse 1:

I Gotta change the locks
Cuz Jimmy’s hittin the rocks
He’s from the school of hard knocks
I think he stole my socks

Choro 1:

Crackhead, crowbar
Dentin up my car
Nick Nat Crack is Wack
I’m gonna be a star

Verse2:

I’m passin out the new keys
I’m flyin high like the Reeves (thank You)
Dress in drag for a scagg
I’ll hoc you’re stuff for a bag

Choro 2:

Crackhead, crowbar
Dentin up my car
Nick Nat Crack is Wack
I’m gonna be a star

Bridge:

Blowtorch, Glass pipe dreamin
Crackhead in the USA
You know that the spoons are steamin
My head hurts like JFK

Blowtorch, Glass pipe dreamin
Crackhead in the USA

You know that the spoons are steamin
My head hurts like JFK

I’m Pennsylvania-bred
You know I hang with K-Fed
I’m in the tweaker shop, baby
I’m cuttin’ up, cuttin’ up, cuttin’ up rocks
Yeah, oh yeah…mmmmm yeah
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Whatever, It make for a good tune.

Lyrics:

Rogan –King

Verse1:

It’s a 3 Foot Snake
Got the tail I can’t shake
Hit the power brake
Go get tha Rake

It’s a salt detox
Gonna fill up the box
Gotta lay off the rocks
Doin droids with the jocks

Choro:

La la la la Colon Glow
La la la la no more blow
I’m gonna get buff like Joe (Rogan)
God knows I can’t stop the flow

Verse2:

Drinkin Organic wine
You know I’m shittin vines
It reeks like Brine
I give it a 9

Kickin out the decay
Bomb it like McVay
Sittin by the dock of the spray
I might be her all day

Choro2:

La la la la Colon Glow
La la la la No more blow
I’m gonna get buff like Joe (Rogan)
God knows I can’t stop the flow

Guitar solo – madness out……

bonus

“Red TV”

Better red than dead
You’ll do what I said

Signal tower
That’s surging with power

Cocaine sacrifice
It’s a workers paradise

Red tube party
Strong weed and a Bacardi

Sexy time

Rain in pocket
Leather jacket
Members only
I feel lonely

Mustard blazer
5 blade razor
drink hot Sake
shoe sole Maki

Red TV
Red TV
Red TV
Red TV
It’s a revolution

Rain in pocket
Leather jacket
Members only
I feel lonely

Mustard blazer
5 blade razor
drink hot Sake
shoe sole Maki

Foglizard copyright 2008

 ——————————-

“Prog Dreams at Night”

verse 1

I’m still searching
Pegasus flies
I know Merlin
His hat is fly

chorus

My mushroom’s on fire
Runes of Ruins cry
Past the Worcester Shire
Hear the mountains sigh
Play your magic lyre
The witch has closed her eye
The wizard has expired
That bitch is bi!

verse 2

On Phil’s Island
My treasure lies
Floating castles
The Lion King rides

chorus

My mushroom’s on fire
Runes of Ruins cry
Past the Worcester Shire
Hear the mountains sigh
Play your magic lyre
The witch has closed her eye
The wizard has expired
That bitch is bi!
Bald eagle flies!

bridge out

Secret scribes Ancient tribes
Dark thicket Evil wicket
Colored frogs Mystic bogs
Dark ticket Evil wicket
Scarecrow ether Midget teacher
Close to the hedge Clown by the river

Up the steps to the tomb of oblivion
Golden Midget Golden Midget
I hear the sacred sounds of Marillion

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(JA claves)

Prog dreams at night!

Uncle Dirty

V1
Oiled Prune
->Boy Scout Elixir

G String Moon
-> Take My Picture

Special K
-> Spin 540

Sewn Today
-> Hangin’ a 40

Chorus

Thongs hangin’ down
I’m the Uncle Dirty
Cut & Paste Now
I’m the Uncle Dirty

[Mayhem]

Copyright 2008 Foglizard

Here’s one I found from the 2005 vault. BBJ was outa town so Sharky,Q and I decided to jam anyway (or drink). Being xmas time an all Sharky heard Silverbells on the radio and had an Idea for a riff. So he picked up Guitar on this one and I’m on fretless baritone guitar (8vb). I still can’t hear the xmas spirit. Balls hum Bug.

“Stuff Yer Monkey “

Oooohhhhaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh….

• Verse1

I’m on safari
I’m here to party
I’m gonna get down, down, down to it
And when I party,
I party hardy
got Viagra, rufies, and a gimlet

• chorus

Stuff your monkey with my dirty brisket –> Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Stuff your monkey with my rich biscuit –> Ahh ahh ahh ahh

• verse2

Saw you walkin
‘ Heard you talkin’
got you in my sights now baby
Your body’s rockin’
my knees are nockin’
You know there’s room in my tent for you lady

• chorus

Stuff your monkey with my dirty brisket –> Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Stuff your monkey with my rich biscuit –> Ahh ahh ahh ahh

• verse3

I approach her Like a poacher
I’m gettin’ closer I’m gonna hose her
She turns to me She looks at me
She says to me…

-> Monkey sounds

Dirty Biscuit
Rich Biscuit

chorus

Stuff your monkey with my dirty brisket –> Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Stuff your monkey with my rich biscuit –> Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh

• verse out

My name is Luke I go to Duke
I play lacrosse I’m at a loss
My daddy’s rich So f*ck you b’tch!
I’m teeing off at the 19th hole today-ay-ay
Ooh! Ahh!
Yeah…how you doin?

 This ones all about the benefits of drinkin malt liquor.  You name it we drunk it.

“Sovereign Blues “

Huh! –>sniff… That’s right –>ahh Goin’ to the liquor store. Gimme a beer. –>Hmm, you look real nice. Hahahaha

• verse1

40 ounce of  beer gonna taste real nice
More than a quart for about the same price
Gotta a lot of choices but you know what’s wise
Don’t need no glass, don’t need no ice

• chorus

Future’s lookin’ bright
Feel no need to fight
Good times well in sight
It’s all gonna be alright

• verse2

Big bottle draggin’ down low to the ground
Shaped like a funnel so you can’t slow down
Gonna get buzzed, gonna make it happen quicker
Got me a 40 of my favorite malt liquor
Chuggin’ it down so it don’t get warm
Finish every drop ’cause you know it’s good form
Truck it on home ’cause the day is now done
And you won’t be lying if you say you had one

• chorus

Future’s lookin’ bright
Feel no need to fight
Good times well in sight
It’s all gonna be alright
Ahhhhh…

Who’s my bitch? Aaaargh!

Buzz likes to surf Rockaway. He would get up at 4 in the morning and surf before work after hangin for a Foglizard session and catchin some jass till 2. One day he went out to catch some good surf cause of a big storm rollin in. Only problem is the storm made the nearby Rockaway Sewage Plant over flow its gates. Next thing you know he’s surfing with the floaters in foam. He got some weird infection that had him wearin a band aid on his head for while but he got over it. What did you eat for dinner?

“Floaters in Foam”

Oh. Kip. Zip dip dip digity-bop

Hanngh…heavy r….

Surf’s up dude!

Heavy rains
Carolina hurricane
Pullin’ the chain
Open up the sewage drain

I don’t care about the motherfuckin’ floaters
The Baby Ruth, Chunky, Mr. Goodbar and the others
Overhead barrel, caught the wave of the day
Surfin’ Rockaway beats Cali anyway

–>Got sick at Rockaway

Out with Scratch and Dave
Lining up my wave
It’s the green room that I crave
Dug a rail in my grave

I don’t care about the motherfuckin’ floaters
The Baby Ruth, Chunky, Mr. Goodbar and the others
Went to the doctor to see what he would say
The doctor said…
Son stay away from Rockaway

–>Got sick at Rockaway

Low flying jets approaching JFK
Rolling waves that smell like open graves
Spread my ashes over Rockaway
Don’t care what the doctors say

–>Still surfin’ Rockaway

I don’t care about the motherfuckin’ floaters
The Baby Ruth, Chunky, Mr. Goodbar and the others
Overhead barrel, caught the wave of the day
Surfin’ Rockaway beats Cali anyway

–>Still surfin’ every day

Here’s a tune about a flight test monkey that figures out the magic button and gives the finger to the man on the ground.

“Jiggernaught”

• verse1

Rattled outa m cage this morning keepers pumped me full of juice.
Don’t know where they’re taking me now I tried to fight bt it aint no use.
Suited up I’m feeling kinda hazeyon a mission for the semian race.
The rockets flare and the trumpets blare, all hail the first monkey in space.

• chorus

From up here the world looks so small.
What happens when I drink it all.
found the mini bar and its well stocked
I’m a chimp with a drink I’m a jiggernaught

• verse2

Rollin out to the lauchpad now we’re gettin ready all systems go.
My diapers dry my helmets fly and you know I’m gettin best in show.
shootin through the stratasphere the heavy gees got me pushed to the brink.
If i press the green buton now this jiggernaught is getting a drink.

chorus (same)
Bridge

• 10: Magilla

• 9:Chim Chim

• 8:CoCo

• 7:Grape Ape

• 6:Bonzai

• 5:Clyde

• 4:TheBbear

• 3:Cheeta

• 2:Bubble

• 1:Scatter

  Verse out

I’m a monkey gettin drunky, Flyin through outer space.
I’m a monkey gettin drunky, leader of the master race.
I’m a monkey gettin drunky, Flyin through outer space.
Funky monkey slamdunky, Houston you can sit on my face

This ones been getting some play on the You Tube. So I figure we’ll link it here.

You know those Bush twins used to party harder than those Olsen gremlins. We decided to write the theme song.

“College Rock “

Get drunk Get laid
Black suits Evade
S6ck d!ck Get lit
Nice t*ts Bad grades

verse1
Got a car Drive real fast
Ditch the suits And the EZ-Pass
three hours till AC
I’m so sick of DC

chorus
Let me tell you child…
The Bush girls have gone wild

Get drunk Get laid Black suits Evade
S6ck d!ck Get lit Nice t*ts Bad grades

verse3
Me and sis On the town
Gettin’ pissed Goin’ down
DEFCON pink Black c0ck down
The White House knows The girls skipped town
The Bush girls are on fire…. Your phone has a wire

Bridge
—>Wilted yellow rose

Doin’ c0ke off a wrestler’s ass
Sniffin’ glue and smoking grass

–>Dirty whitebred ho

You know that Laura likes it up the b^tt
And Jenna’s jerkin’ jocks at the Pizza Hut
Gonna rub
Gonna tug
Gonna s6ck
Gonna f6ck
Gonna drink
Gonna smoke
Gonna snort
Gonna lose

chorus out
Get drunk Get laid Black suits Evade
S6ck d!ck Get lit Nice t1ts Bad grades

Get drunk
Get laid
Black suits
Evade
S6ck d!ck
Get lit
Nice t1ts
Bad

(more…)

From the archive of 2006

Here’s a quick ditty with a catchy riff and stereo bass lines. Put on your headphones and crank it up.
Remember that bar you went to with all the hot tall chicks with Adams apples? This song was on the jukebox.

“Her Balls Dropped ”

intro
I got us a cold one and When it’s goin’ to get to gag goin’ I guess I’m sayin’

verse1
Long legs short skirt –> That b1tch got
Hot ass tight shirt –> That b1tch got

I know now, hoses are swayin’
Yeah I never saw you cut in the neck Now I say now baby, baby, baby
said now, I got us a cold one and When it’s goin’ to get to gag goin’
guess I’m sayin’

She looks real good –> That b1tch got
I think I should –> That b1tch got

chorus
Somethin’ bout this girl just quite ain’t right
–> I seen it coming
Six foot five in heels is quite a sight
–> High heels and her toes look raw
the way she’s handling me she got paws like Shaq
–> Jack ain’t comin’ back
This girl is all woman and that’s a fact
–> That b1tch got a….holy shit

verse2
Gonna make my move
–> That b1tch got
gonna get real smooth
–> That b1tch got

She got the shit now,
I said got me swayin’
I said that b1tch I rub her leg now
She ain’t sayin’, I said

chorus
Somethin’ bout this girl just quite ain’t right
–> You know I think she’s a guy now
Six foot five in heels is quite a sight
–> I said take it baby
Finally got her home, looked herin the eye
–> Run my hand up her thigh now, she’s a guy
When my fingers did the walkin’, to my surprise –>
Ahhhhhh

That b1tch got balls
I said she got balls now, hangin’ down on me

Another one from 2006.

What happens when you take a bunch of really manly subjects like Cowboys, Vikings, Football, Guns, horses, knives and fighting? …….Something so tough it could only exist in prisons.

“Sword Fight “

Verse1
In the days of old, so I’m told The Vikings and Cowboys did battle
ancient grudge, washed in blood The fires that forged the metal
ushed to the brink and fueled by the drink Men were slaughtered like cattle
upon the plains a handful remains After the dust had settled.

chorus
Our helmets shine, we’re full of wine Swordfight
Our skins are tight, we come with might Swordfight

verse2
Polished up my Colt 45
Got my ropes my chaps now strapped to my side
My posse’s saddled up we ride tonight
Two in the can now, chaps for life!

chorus
Our helmets shine, we’re full of wine Swordfight
Our skins are tight, we come with might Swordfight
We’re men of brawn, our swords are drawn Swordfight

We slay the swine from behind Swordfight

Bridge
Are your swords sheathed? –>Yeah!

Are your pistols clean? –>Yeah!
Are your horns sharp? –>Yeah!
Are your horses shoed? –>Yeah!
Let’s get ready to rumble!
–>Yeah!

chorus
Our helmets shine, we’re full of wine Swordfight
Our skins are tight, we come with might Swordfight
we’re men of brawn, our swords are drawn Swordfight
We slay the swine from behind Swordfight
we’ll shoot out guns, they’re on the run Gunfight
cowboy eye for the Viking guy Gunfight
they’re dressed in furs, they’re foreigners rawhide
Get on your knees and service me Swordfight

Football
Football is gay

copyright 2008 Foglizard

This one goes back to 2006. I figure post em all for archiving.

The steamer came out of the idea that some people like to get crapped on but don’t want the shit to actually touch them. Idea! - use Saran Wrap. It worked for Mr. C.

Go Chachi!

this should help

“The Steamer “

verse1
Tea Party
Tea Baggin’
B&M Beans
The tail’s a waggin’
Hot tub at night
Steamed pumpkin
My point’s in your sight
Somethin’ somethin’

chorus
Steam…Up…The…Night
Steam up the night, steam up the night

–>Steam up the night!

Steam…steam up the night

verse2
Gonna steam up
Rosy sight
I’m glad it’s GLAD
Strechin’ it tight
Pinchin’ it off
Dark chocolate
Bali squirts
Warm and soft
Your love is so warm
Arctic parka
You can tell she loves corn
Hazelnut mocha
Crack in the moon
Half crescent
On the dark side baby
Wrapping a present

chorus
Steam…Up…The…Night

Steam up the night, steam up the night

–>Steam up the night!

Steam…steam up the night.

Verse 3
Looking up at the brown
Through the plastic
I’ve had a few beers
I feel fantastic
DQ soft serve
Mud’s a flowin’
Slow train’s a coming
Whistle’s a blowin’
Dumping it’s load
Right on time
Makin’ some chode
The best is behind
Roll up the tarp
Let’s hit the showers
Fuck, gimme a shot!
I’m the man of the hour

Bridge
Steaming up the universe

Steeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaammm.

Here it comes!

chorus out
Steam…Up…The…Steam up the night

–> Steam up the night!

Copyright 2008 Foglizard

This one’s pretty out.  All about a Vietnamese  pimp runnin tricks behind his fast food chicken joint in the woods.  The army men dig it.

Short and sweet, but wide like a coffee can.

General Choad’s Chicken

Intro

Oatmeal cunt
You know…before you boil it
Hahahaha
I said those ho’s better not be dry

Chant

Choads!
Loads!
Ch-ch-ch choads!
Mother loads!

V1

Deep in the bush at the end of the road
There’s an old chicken shack
They call General Choad’s
Made out of grass and held together with loads
Shot at the faces
Of greasy-ass ho’s

Chorus

Flank steak copter lyin’ low in the cut
Slut stunt rider
Turkey neck guts
Deep fried chicken lips
Q-tip in the dick
Coffee can condom
No reservoir tip

[Chant]

V2

Yankee Rose pig nose
Sniffin’ at your door
Half stack titty slap
Give the dog some more
Finger pickin chicken lickin’
Down on all fours
2 legs, one breast
Five dollar whore

[Chorus]

[Refrain]

All hail General Choad
War pimp a la mode
All hail General Choad
Free-range mother load

You don’t know!
You weren’t there!

[Chant]

Corn.

Copyright 2008 Foglizard

Later Bob, thanks for the inspiration.

 Kiva Jumped the Gun

Chorus

I’m not dead
No matter what Kiva said
Still gettin’ head
From my tube she is fed

I’m not dead
No matter what Kiva said
Never too old to fill a warm hole

Intro

Hi Bob?
Hello?
Oh, is Bob there?
Kiva?
Hi Bob, how are ya?
What?
Hi, how are ya?
You fucked up my happy ending
What did you say…oh…what’d you say..oh
I haven’t been that hard in twenty years
Daddy I miss you so much
What oh fuck
Mommy says you’re not doing very well
Oh God dammit
I just called to say: Good….bye
I’m not dead yet - Fuck you

V1

Kiva wrote me a lovely eulogy
But too bad I wasn’t dead
She really fucking jumped the gun on that one
She means well, but she just isn’t the brightest bulb in the box
She e-mailed everyone in the fucking family
My sister shit out her fucking uterus

Kiva takes after her fucking cunt whore Mom
The apple didn’t fall too far from that fucking tree
I’m a goner for sure, but that nurse’s pooper sure gives me a hot dog
I think she put Viagra in my I.V.
I’m callin’ a lawyer
Nurse is gettin’ all my dough
Fuck you all
I’m taking my dirt nap with a smile on my face
Adios, motherfuckers!

[Chorus]

Outro Refrain

Put the nail in the coffin
But he ain’t quite dead
Put the nail in the coffin
But he’s still getting head

Copyright 2008 Foglizard